Good morning..... wood!

You can file this under my most embarassing moments. So, our maintenance worker was quietly caulking our bathtub tiles this morning, and i forgot he was there. I woke up this morning wearing just boxer shorts and walked into the bathroom pitching a tent big enough for the circus. Low and behold, the maintenance guy was kneeling on the floor caulking the tub, he looked up and said "good morning" I ran out of the bathroom, and went downstairs, where i made a light breakfast. I saw him like a half hour later, and i avoided eye contact. I felt stupid. Its not easy being a guy.

slow motion police pursuit!

Well... i was on High St. tonight when..... suddenly a red pick-me-up truck slammed into a stopped car at a red light. After bouncing back, he slammed into 2 more parked cars. Randomly, there was a cop car behind him. The drunk driver took off with some speed. (by speed i mean 10 mph.) This triggered a "slow motion police pursuit." They were tearing up High St. at maybe 12 mph. (due to terrible road conditions from the snow storm) The roads were soooooooo bad that they chased eachother at less than 15 mph! Finally a cop cut up a side street and forced the drunk to submit. He was quickly hancuffed and arrested.

Making rap videos, hurts!

So last night my buddy Tony (aka Envelope) was shooting a rap video, and need some extras. I showed up and landed a spot in the video as one of 2 dude playing dice. The storyline for our scene is we play dice, Envelope comes over and throws down a hand with us. After he walks away 2 thugs show up and rob us a gunpoint. The scene calls for me to be roughed up, and roughed up i was. The first time the thugs jumped us they came real soft so i told them to bring it harder. Take #2 involved me getting jabbed with the shotgun, which hurt. Take #3, involved me getting slammed into the wall, which kinda caught me off guard. Takes #4-7 were not too bad, so once again i taunted the thugs, in take #7 they got me pretty good, but we had to reshoot the scene cuz i was smiling....... meanwhile, I was holding in a good amount of urine, for a good amount of time so in the final take he kicked me in the stomach so hard i almost pissed my pants!

Why I have terrible Game: Part 4

So last night i was talking to this girl and she said "so no offense, but whats up, are you gay?"
I said "no, thats false." So, she tried to kiss me and i was caught off guard, and ended up kissing her nose.

I lied to make myself look cool: volume 1

My roomate has a 2007 black Honda Civic. He let me drive it up to UDF last night.
This girl that i loosely know, saw me in the parking lot, and said "hey there! you have a nice car." I looked her dead in the eyes and said "Thanks, its a 2007!" She walked away, and i thought, why did i lie about that?

Is this fucking necessary?

Dude!
i bought a package of cheese last week (swiss to be exact)
the package actually comes with directions on how to remove a slice of cheese from the wrapping.... Come on! Is this fucking necessary?