seriously

who put a yard snow globe in my bedroom tonight?

12/28/2007

shitting on someone's xmas

Today i took my parnets dog "Charlie" on a Christmas morning walk. We got to the schoolyard where he drops his typical load, so I scooped the pile into a baggie and tossed it into a garbage can. As we came down the last street before our house a family of 5 pulled into the driveway right in front of us. They were dressed real nice, it looked as if they just got back from Christmas mass. They cheerfully wished me a merry christmas! I responded with merry christmas to you, at this point i felt a tug on the leash and to my dismay...
Charlie dropped a steamy pile of crap in their front yard as stood feet away. The christmas cheer seemed to fade out, and i stood there and said something like "ill be back to pick it up, once again, merry christmas!"

she's on fire

Sooooooo....
There was an extremely attractive cashier at taget today and i found myself float over to her register line. There were 3 guys in front of me, and as i waited around two more dudes came over to the same line. I looked around the store and every other line had no more than two people in it. This girl now had five guys in her line and another guy came over. I overheard a guy behind me say "she's smokin' hot" and his friend said "no man, she's on fire!" I felt like a meathead but continued to wait for my turn. As i grabbed my bags, I looked over to the closest cashier, and she was looking over at this long line and just kinda frowned. She was pretty cute, and i felt bad for her. Next time Ill go into the second cutest cashiers line to make her feel better.

callin' it quits on women and pizza!

unfortunately im gonna have to call it quits on my two favorite things in creation: Pizza and Women! Here is why they are both dead to me....

Women: i rode my bike to Ravari Room last night, and it started to snow like crazy, so i decided to "wait it out" with a pizza. Well.... sitting by myself i was forced to watch a beautiful girl make out with a guy in the booth across from me. The killer was, as i sat alone a pretty girl dry humped a guy wearing combat boots and a cat in the hat, hat! (lets refer to him as puss in boots) so women died to me at 2:45am.

Pizza: i decided i could salvage the night with a few take home slices, well.... on my slippery bike ride home, i was crossing the intersection of 5th and neil when a ford focus came towards me with such velocity i dropped my pizza box, and pedaled like mad across the intersection. To my dismay, i the car proceeded to run over my pizza! so pizza died to me at 3:10am

i give up

sincerely,
jeffffffffffffernenegel