5 men and a tranny

soooooo... 5 guys hanging out at white castle, the only women who approaches us all night is a dude. She seemed interested, so we end up in a roundhouse discussion.

the results:

1 guy would hook up if she is beautiful
2 guys said it would depend on circumstances
2 guys (myself included) no way

teen cave piss parties

a small crew of us decided to play some putt-putt this past friday afternoon. We went to an area of town we dubbed "Vegas" it is the 161/71 exit area. The course was a bit past its prime, and here is why..


They seemed to be replacing the astro turf on this hole, but just kinda gave up, which means we had to putt on wood, which also means the ball never really stops rolling!

Many of the water hazards were dry, this was an exception, it was full of piss. It was in a cave, and we figure at night teens sneak in here, pound beers, and piss in this hazard.

Here is one of many beer bottles found on and around this 18 hole beauty, which lends itself to our teen cave piss party theory.

This is just a cool photo of anderson, he could easily say he was in New Mexico here.

One of the unconventional hazards on this course, a random razor blade on the stairs.

This cave, had some unconventional obstacles, chairs! probably used by teens during their popular "teen cave piss parties" we played the hole, as is, leaving the chairs. Who needs winmills anyways?

On top of the cave was an ironic flag that said PARTY! This probably attracted the teens to the cave to have their famous "teen cave piss parties"

Reporting live from my parents house.....

My sister and i think are parents are pretty freaking hilarious... so, periodically my sister sends me an email about a scene she observed at home

this is an example


Jeff
here's whats happening around here......

mom: "i'm making italian sausage for dinner, yum."
dad: "it better not be that turkey crap!!!"
mom: "no it's the real thing, i know how you feel about turkey sausage."
dad: "thank god." (exit to garage)

scenes from Bodega: part 4

sooooo.... i was smoking a cigarette in front of Bodega, when a lady approached me for a lighter. I pulled out my yellow BIC and lit her up. I heard a clanging sound, and looked over to my left. There was a guy launching himself in our direction knocking into several chairs on his way over. He pulled out a Marlboro Light and slipped it into his mouth. I pulled out my yellow BIC and he said, "oh, no... i won't be needing that." He proceeded to reach into his pocket to pull out one of those purple felt Crown Royal bags. Next thing i know he had a shiney silver lighter with the initials M.A.B. engraved upon it in his hand. He then said "a gentlemen always has a lighter." After striking his light, he leaned into the girl and kissed her. In the next 4 minutes he kissd her about 10 times.

This week in driving school

You know on the interstate when you see those trucks carrying an oversize load, such as a house? You know how they are usually followed very closely by a truck with flashing lights and a huge OVERSIZE LOAD sign? well, this morning my driving student, who had never been on the highway before.... somehow merged in between the oversize load truck and the closely trailing caution truck. We were running out of room to get over and i said, "umm hey man, ahh we gotta get over behind the truck" he said "uagggg aaa" and instead of slowing down, he just swerved into the limited space between the 2 vehicles. Then we were stuck between them for at least a half mile until there was enough room to escape. We were both scared outta our minds... i summed it up to his grieve stricken face by saying "well... it will never be any more difficult than that to merge, ever, seriously"

Fast Eddie calls Anderson's yard sale weak!

When his yard sale was brought up, a smug look engulfed the face of fast eddie and he said "hey man, no offense but your yard sale was pretty weak man! i mean some of your best stuff included a NOFX sweatshirt and a few VHS tapes" "hey wait a minute didnt you have some of your friends stuff for sale?"

* this was a reference to a dead milkmen tape of mine, with no case marked at $.25

Slightly insulted by this harsh "call out" Anderson quickly pointed out "hey i made about $80 in two days, and thats some honest money"

* the estimated $80 in sales includes a $.25 purchase by me of a Decendents pin

My final thoughts of this matter.....

i think calling someones yard sale weak is an insult, but listing a tiny yard sale on Craig's List as a MEGA YARD SALE is also a bit dishonest.

dorkwads at Giant Eagle

Here is proof that on 7/15/2007 there were at least 2 dorkwads at Giant Eagle.... and its also kinda funny they locked them up, cuz if someone steals a segway, they are gonna roll away at like 4 mph, call me crazy but i think you would be able to catch up with them

hot mama

So, i told this story and it got a good response tonight, even though it happened about 3 weeks ago. I was with a driving student on the north tip of Upper Arlington, and the lesson was almost over. We were driving back thru his neighborhood when..... suddenly, on the right hand side of the road i spotted a very hot mom jogging in a sports bra and sunglasses. I nudged the teen driver and said "DAMNNNN! would you look at her?" He nervously looked back over and said "thats my step-mom." I said, " thats cool," and we silently drove another 30 seconds back to his driveway. As i was filling out his evaluation sheet, she bounced her way back towards the house and said "hey boys! how did the lesson go?"


I felt awkward

whats with bo davis?

so here is a very nice photo after the tree of snakes bernies show. But look at the disturbing image of Bo Davis in the bbackground. Lets take a closer look shall we?


so is Bo Davis about to a) crap his pants b) puke his brains out c) finish up a quick hand job

What i did to some ants today

What i did to these ants today is terrible. They were causing a ruckus around the trash can in our kitchen, so i took action. There were too many to stomp on, so............ i grabbed the dustpan and swept them up. I was too lazy to toss them outside and i had to use the bathroom, so........... i brought them into the bathroom and dumped them into the toilet. Here is where it gets cruel, i dropped my trousers and pissed all over them. Suddenly i felt bad about what i did so i quickly flushed away my ants. I literally pissed on their grave (i guess im a jerk)