old halloween photos

so this is an old halloween photo and me and my friend chris, he is Link from legend of zelda, and i am a bum

here is another, my sister is a fairy, my brother is a blue hair zombie (he was at the age where you go half ass) and i was Bernie Kosar!

in this photo i am an ewok, and my sister is a fairy again

This is my friend Craig, and so here is my question. What the fuck is he? is he a cross between an ewok and mr. spock??

to those of you who called me a liar

last night at NDA- wing night, a table full of people doubte dmy story about seeing a late night commercial for the king of caulk.....

look at this pic

oooof! ooof!

i was watching some stupid show with fast eddie called "Dance on, Pants off" Its the kind of show where people listen to their favorite song and do a striptease for $$. Anyways, this lady gets on the screen and eddie leans over to me and said "oooof! oooof! that is a hot girl" i kinda checkled and watched her dance. After a minute, the show host says WE GOT A SUPRISE FOR YOU! and they cut to an interview of the lady dancing. She says "up until 3 years ago, i was a man" I start laughing real loud, and eddie says, "why are you laughing, you said she was hot?" Fast eddie had the nerve to try and spin his comment back to me, but i know the truth

i might be considered a loser because....

the other day i was eating peanuts and thought one looked like a duck (mallard) and the other looked like a sea lion, instead of leaving it at that, i got out the paint and made it happen....

"i actaully like the duck, ya, i like it" Paul Helsel

pen15

sooooooooo, 4 out of the last 5 people i conversed with pointed out the fact that i had the word "penis" written on my right hand. It all started out at cafe bourbon st., Brooke wrote pen15 aka "penis" on my hand. I knew she wrote something on my hand, i just didnt really pay attention....


person #1 (kelly m.) "hey fern, do you know you have the word penis written on your hand?" - oh, shit, thats what she wrote

person #2 (stoner at appa joe's pizza) as i handed him the $ "hahahhaha ha, dude, you joined the pen15 club? hahaaa ha" -oh shit, i should have washed that off my hand

person #3 (clerk at UDF) as i handed her the $ "hey honey, you do know you have a penis written on your hand" -fuck i need to rememeber this

person #4 (blue nile cab driver) "you know what your problem is? you know why you are by yourself tonight? you need to be walking, a guy like you isnt gonna get any play in a cab, you gotta walk down the street and strut your stuff"- this was the guy who didnt notice

person #5 (panahandler on high/linclon st) after i dropped some change into his cup "hey man is that a tatoo or something?" me"no, some girl wrote the word penis on my hand, you ever heard of the pen15 club prank?" (panhandler) "oh yeah, i fell for that too man"

there you go.... 4 out of 5 people notice the word "penis" wriiten on your hand

you said that while wearing a jester hat?

Yesterday i was at the Clintonville Kroger and witnessed something that i cannot get out of my head. This guy was in the parking lot, wearing one of those winter jester hats, yelling at this girl in a car. He yelled something like "if you leave right now, you will never get me back" i was thinking, if you are gonna say something powerful like that, wouldn't you want to take the jester hat off. That guy looked like a total jackass.... everything you do in a jester hat looks 8 x's more jackass, and everything you say while wearing a jester hat sounds 16 x's more jackass.

mesh cap artwork

little advertisement here...
if anyone would like a character from one of my paintings painted on a mesh cap, let me know what you want, i made this one tonight and it came out decent

my 1st real life "the office" reference

of recent i have been catching up on The Office (and i feel like a dumbass for not following it till now)

So, in The Office season #1 one of my favorite dialogues

Michael Scott "like that dwarf from lord of the rings"
Dwight Shrute "Gimly!"
Michael Scott "Nerd!"

So, last night at Betty's, my friend shane (from a lord of the rings post a week ago) was trying to reference an old story, he used lord of the rings to reference point the year of the story

Shane "i think it was 2000, ya, that was when the fellowship of the rings came out"
Steeeeve "actually that would be 2001"
me "Nerd!"

this drunk girl at white castle....

i was at white castle with my boy "baby james" we met this drunk girl named Claire. She told us to take music 252 at OSU, history of rock and roll, and she also liked me for being a Sagitarious(sic), and also liked james cuz he is an Aquarious (sic) so basically she likes any guy who has a sign. Anyways she put a quarter in a sticker machine and got a WARNING: parental advisary sticker. She got really excited, and put it on her ass.

apparently.....

Apparently, i was so drunk on friday night i gashed my eyebrow open. On saturday morning i noticed my eyebrow was cut open. I went downstairs to to puzzle the sequence of events that caused the injury. Here is what i found.... 1) blooody tissue 2) green chair on the ground 3) a replacements cd and a stereo still on 4) the tv on with the dvd player on but not playing

Here is what happened, i was super drunk and wanted to watch The Office season 1 dvd. However, i was too drunk to pull off this simple feat. I had an idea that it would be awesome to listen to music, so i hopped up off the couch and tripped over a green wooden chair. I fell face first into the stereo cutting my eyebrow open! Somehow i managed to hit play and The Replacements "Hootenanny" blared out of the speakers as i laid on the floor.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!