callin' it quits on women and pizza!
unfortunately im gonna have to call it quits on my two favorite things in creation: Pizza and Women! Here is why they are both dead to me....
Women: i rode my bike to Ravari Room last night, and it started to snow like crazy, so i decided to "wait it out" with a pizza. Well.... sitting by myself i was forced to watch a beautiful girl make out with a guy in the booth across from me. The killer was, as i sat alone a pretty girl dry humped a guy wearing combat boots and a cat in the hat, hat! (lets refer to him as puss in boots) so women died to me at 2:45am.
Pizza: i decided i could salvage the night with a few take home slices, well.... on my slippery bike ride home, i was crossing the intersection of 5th and neil when a ford focus came towards me with such velocity i dropped my pizza box, and pedaled like mad across the intersection. To my dismay, i the car proceeded to run over my pizza! so pizza died to me at 3:10am
i give up
sincerely,
jeffffffffffffernenegel
posted by jeff /// LINK TO
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18 Comments:
Maaaybe you'll give you'll give up on women, but never on pizza. My question is: If the focus hadn't run over your slices, would you have recovered and eaten them?
jeffrey, that's what you get for going to that godforsaken hellhole "rapist land" they call ravari. i hear all the people that work there molest children. stop going there and you will soon find the beauty in both women and pizza.
I don't think it was the pizza's fault. If anything you should be mad at cars or the World.
You mean you hadn't already given up women?
You and pizza just need some time.
I don't see what your hang up with women is based on that anecdote. No matter who you are, there's always gonna be some girl hookin' up with somebody lamer than you. That's just singles physics.
let's be reasonable here. women gave up on fern a long time ago.
pizza didn't turn it's back on you, you turned your back on pizza. any real man would have held tight to the pizza and been hit by the car, arm in arm with the one thing he cares about the most.
Don't you ever talk to pizza that way. No, YOU are dead to ME.
Fern, at some point, when you least expect it, you'll find another pizza that will make you forget all about that other pizza. It'll work out, man. The important thing now is that you just get back out there and mingle and try to have some fun.
i like how phil made the same joke twice and it is funny both times.
Two different Phils Dougle! I wish i was that funny... the other phil is our old friend phil helsel, paul's brother.
d'oh!
also, ravari room blows.
how did some of the comments disappear?
Just because a girl is pretty doesn't mean she has taste.
I have found that both women and pizza can be replaced by Cluck-U-Chicken and/or riding a bike you love. If you ever want to share an order or ride bikes, gimme a call.
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about the girl and the Pizza.
So, why did you quit blogging? Was Bobby making out with it, or did it get run over by a Focus? Just wondering how the third love of your life met its tragic demise.
Wicked burn, Andrew. JEFF'S ON DVD.
yeah, you never said you were calling it quits on this
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