Laundrymat Palm Reader
Yesterday i was at the Laundrymat in Grandview on 1st. ave. There was a guy looking at me from across the mat. He was some kinda weird cross-breed hippy/goth kid. After we made eye contact he came over to me and said "hey man ill read your palm in exchange for some detergent" I thought, what the hell, this is an interesting deal. He pulled a mini idiot's palm reader guide out of his coat pocket and we sat down at the table. He looked in the book, then grabbed my hand and said, "okay, this is your life line and you will live well into your fifties" he then felt around my hand and started to totally bullshit. "Okay, you will marry twice, your first wife will die in a tragic accident" AT THIS POINT IM STARTING TO GET MAD, AT LEAST TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD YOU ASSHOLE. IM GONNA ONLY LIVE TO BE 50 AND IM GONNA HAVE A DEAD WIFE. He then said "in your later years you will eventually have a very nice car" WHAT THE FUCK? DOES A VOLVO MAKE UP FOR A SHORT LIFE AND A TRAGIC DEATH OF A WIFE. I WANTED MY DETERGENT BACK!
7 Comments:
volvos are pretty sweet
What's the point of having a car with a good safety rating if you know when you're going to die anyway? Go for something flashy that blows up real pretty.
A Volvo is a pretty "realistic" cool car to have, i could have said Lamborginni (sic) but i wont drive a car whose name i cannot spell
You let a stranger in a Laundrymat hold your hand.
I guess my point is that if I knew for sure I was dying in my fifties, I would mortgage everything I had to make sure I wasn't ballin' on a budget when my time came. EIGHTY INCH RIMS and shit.
In my opinion, this wasn't such bad advice. First off, he said that you would live well into your fifties, but he didn't say that you would die before you were sixty. You may very well live to be sixty, or even seventy, and then some. The first thing you should do right now is marry the richest girl you find, no matter how boring or homely she is. As a matter if fact, the lamer she is the better, that way you won't be so sad when she kicks the bucket, and you'll be able to pick up her inheritance/life insurance policy, and you'll be loaded, which will enable you to buy that Volvo. And your second wife will probably be super hot, because chicks sure do dig them Volvos.
now that sounds like a plan!
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