The Morning After...

last night i had 2 friends spend the night.... this is the note i found this morning

Living up to a reputation

People in Columbus always refer to the Kroger on King and High St. as "ghetto kroger" This picture is evidence to support that nickname. Notice, not just a row of Steel reserve tall cans, but an entire shelf of the cooler is dedicated to the beer preferred by 3 out of 4 crackheads! Not only is there an entire shelf dedicated to this brew, but it is also chaotically disshoveled....

cool bathroom graffiti: volume 1

classic!

101 french canadian jokes

Today at Carabar "French Canadian" heritage came up... I decided to crack a clean non- offensive joke, and here it is...

Who is the host of French Canadian Jeopardy?

Alex Quebec

one clean french canadian joke down, 100 to go for my 101 "clean" French Canadian Jokebook

Dumbest thing I have ever seen in my life

Last night I easily saw the dumbest thing I have ever see in my life at the Garage Bar. Two drunk jocks started yelling "O-H-I-O" No big deal, but they both dropped trou and exposed OSU block O tattoos on there buttocks. They then pushed up cheek to cheek and one guy yelled "O-H" and the other yelled "I-O" Next, they both wiggled their butts and someone took a slew of pictures.

Now thats toilet talk

So... This 17 year old driving student i had the other day told me 3 stories about poop. I'm not sure I believe any of his stories, none the less here they are..

pile #1
We drove by the Olentangy River and he said, "You know why that river smells so bad? Cuz me and my uncle take dumps off the side of his boat everytime we go fishing."

pile #2
I got pissed off at my cousin so i took a crap in the corner of his bedroom and covered it with dirty clothes.

pile #3 (extremely unbelievable)
One time at a party i took a crap in a pan and walked around and gave it to drunk people and told them that they were brownies.

Are you cereal?

So working with teenagers i get to find out all the cool new phrases. This is the dumbest hot new expression i have heard in my life.... "Are you cereal?" This expression can BUT SHOULDN'T be used in situations that people would normally say Are you serious?"

example during one of my driving lessons

Me "We only have about 10 minutes left in the lesson."
teenage girl "Are you cereal?"

Big Boys and Big Toys

So i witnessed my first construction site prank! I was with a driving student at Whetstone High School's parking lot during some mild construction. The car windows were down on a nice summer afternoon when suddenly the car air was littered with profanity. "Fuckin' A!" "Goddamnit you sunabitch!" "Woo Weee!" "Fuckin A!" "Oh Hell No!" "Oh Hell No!" "Hell no!" We look over to our right and there is a guy in a huge construction vehicle dumping dirt onto some guy's pick up truck yelling "Hell ya, Git some!"

In a weird way i pissed on my face today

Classic situation, I approach a urinal, and spotted a fly. So, naturally in stealth mode I got ready to piss on it. Success! However my good aim came with a price, the determined fly battled through my golden stream and flew into my face and returned the favor. So...... In a weird way, i pissed on my own face!