As summer comes, so do my thoughts about losing weight which are so predictably reoccuring they should be listed alongside the phases of the moon in the farmers almanac. As I get older I notice more and more of a difference in the weight/exercise/intake ratio, and how I need to start paying more and more attention to what exactly I am finding delicious at the moment. Unfortunatley this year I'm having a difficult time shedding some winter weight, which is having a huge effect on my self confidence. So, of course, I've resorted to desperate times/desperate measure tactics, which I am here to talk to you about today. (Or tonight, really, because it's 3:30 AM and I just got home from closing the bar. I have a hard time with the wind down some nights, tonight in particular because it was a dance night and jaysus I've got to say I'm more than happy it's the last one until next fall.)

So the first thing I tried was fasting, which was totally ridiculous. I think I got through a morning/afternoon sipping on maple syrup and lemon juice before I cracked. I was angry with myself but very grateful for the existance of avocadoes. I would not recommend the fast method, as it only incites desperate craving and slight anger.

The second method was my high school fallback, the carbohydrate Dr. Atkins thing. Again, of course, unsuccessful. It costs a lot of money to eat that way and money is one thing I don't have enough of at the moment.

Third, exercise. Usually tired after long bar shifts it's hard to get motivated to push myself around. Ugh, looking at all of these is making me feel a little sad.

Really though I'd just like to feel at home in my body again, and to think I can dress creatively, and to have all of my clothes at my disposal, and to look forward to swimming in country ponds with the right mindset. I'm not sure how to get there yet, but I'll keep trying to figure it out.