It's official: John Stamos is my fucking hero.

The first time that I ever recall hearing of the now legendary Mr. Stamos was back in 1986, when he made his big screen motion picture debut, co-starring with Vanity and Gene Simmons in this little gem.



He is best known for playing the character of Jesse Katsopolis, co-starring with the likes of Bob Saget and Lori Loughlin for a whopping eight seasons on the beloved television program known as Full House. Notice how he is placed smack dab in the middle of the cast in this promotional photo. He was the glue that held that show together!

For about five years, he was married to Rebecca Romijn, who portrayed the character of Mystique in those wacky X-Men movies. A fella could do a lot worse for himself.



He's even a semi-official member of the Beach Boys!



Stamos' most recent claim to fame is his role as the dashing Dr. Tony Gates on a little TV show called ER. A powerhouse display of his unparalleled acting prowess is guaranteed to be delivered each and every week.



I think that everyone would agree with me when I say that this is a pretty damn impressive track record. Hey, I've always held John Stamos in very high regard. And then, I saw this interview with him from some Australian TV show.

At this point, I pretty much consider him to be the most excellent dude on the planet.

Does this guy deserve to even HAVE a family?

The dad in this commercial seems to be showing a gesture of concern for his family by talking to them from behind his newspaper about some product that is supposed to be good for you.

It turns out that his entire family is already using this product, unbeknownst to him.

I'll bet that he felt like the biggest asshole ever when he finally put his paper down and realized that everyone had already been following his recommendation.

What's wrong with this guy?

I mean, didn't he even see this stuff in his refrigerator before reading about it in the paper?

He must be a bona fide heroin fiend.

Or at least a raging alcoholic.

I Googled myself today.

This was the first time that I have ever Googled my own name and actually ended up finding something about myself, and not just a bunch of nonsense about other dudes with whom I happen to share the same name. My blog here was actually the fifth one on the list. This was officially the proudest moment of my career as a blogger.

And here's the next coolest thing that I found.

This is some guy who was taking part in some sort of bachelor auction that took place in Sarasota, Florida over a year ago, which was a just hop, skip, and a jump from the town at which I had been residing at the time.

Had I been privy to this, I probably would have gone to this auction, bid top dollar for a night with him, and just ending up bullshitting with the fella about how many people have asked us if we were related to J.R. Ewing.

Or Patrick Ewing.

He would have totally kicked my ass.