Sorry, but pissing into a trough while some eccentric dude watches me is just NOT how I roll.

A couple of nights ago, I met up with a few friends at a bar on High Street called The Library. Somehow or another, Matt Carter struck up a conversation with this dude who had thinning reddish hair and a really cool moustache. He looked to be about, oh, forty, forty five. At any rate, they were just bullshitting about music and such, when all of a sudden, we were all informed that the fellow (Let's just call him "Red") was in the attendance of a huge rock and roll show that took place in the late seventies at which he witnessed performances by the likes of ELO, Journey, and Foreigner. Needless to say, we were all very impressed.

A bit later in the night, my head started feeling a bit stuffy, and I felt the need to blow my nose. Napkins were being made available at the bar, but I felt as though I would be best off finding the restroom and hooking myself up with some toilet paper. I had never been to this place before and didn't know where the restrooms were, so I took a couple of steps over to the jukebox, where Carter was picking out a few songs to listen to. I asked him where I could find the mens' room, and he gave me directions as he pointed to its location, in the back left corner of the other room, past the pool tables.

It seemed as though "Red" was over there shooting some pool and had noticed that I was looking for the restroom. He beckoned for me to follow him so that he could show me, and I proceeded to do so, because I really needed to blow my nose. I just expected him to show me to the door, but instead, he walked inside in front of me and made his way into the one and only toilet stall inside, and kinda looked out of it as he was getting ready to urinate as though he were waiting for me to pee into the trough that was right outside of the stall.

I just grabbed a couple of paper towels and said, "Thanks, my nose is runnin' like a fuckin' sieve", and stepped out.

I didn't use those paper towels, because they would have been even more abrasive than the napkins on the bar. So I walked right over to that bar and picked up a few of those napkins. I then proceeded to blow my nose like there was no tomorrow, thanking my lucky stars the entire time that I didn't have to take a piss.

Those guys in Led Zeppelin are a bunch of assholes.

I recently re-watched one of my favorite films of all time, a quaint little gem from the late seventies called Malibu Beach. It's the heartwarming story of a mischievous canine who likes to steal bikini tops from unsuspecting female sunbathers. Epic stuff.

Anyway, the flick had a pretty awesome theme song that I just couldn't get out of my head for a few days, so I tried to locate an audio recording of it somehow. I scoured the internet for the soundtrack, but it was to no avail. I checked the end credits of the movie to find out who did the song, but that info wasn't even there. At this point, the only way I could listen to the song was by playing the opening credits on the DVD. Just go ahead and check that out, and don't forget to give the song a good listen.

It was all well and good to be able to listen to the song through the speakers of my television set, but I really wanted to be able to rock out to it in my car and put it on my MySpace profile page. I mean, who wouldn't want to have the theme song to Mailbu Beach playing as your name, pictures, and personal information are being perused by fiftysomething men pretending to be sixteen year old girls?

So, I took the trouble of connecting my DVD player directly to my computer and making a recording of the song in real time, straight from the film. I then converted the file to mp3 so that I could put it on my MySpace profile. The next step was to sign up for a band profile, which would only serve to play host to the song. I ran into a bump in the road when I was required to enter the band name, as I still had no idea who had composed the tune. I just indicated that the name of the band was Led Zeppelin, because the guitar stylings in the song sound a great deal like those of Jimmy Page. I considered it a fairly educated guess. After I was finally all done with that process, I went ahead and added the track to my own profile.

Mission accomplished.

A few days later, I clicked on my profile just to hear the song, only to find out that it had been deleted by the artist. Apparently, the song wasn't actually performed by Led Zeppelin, and the band didn't quite appreciate there being a profile under their name with the theme song to Malibu Beach on it. Personally, I would have been flattered to be held responsible for bringing that song into the world. At any rate, the entire account had been deleted by a third party.

But that's not gonna stop me from having that tune on my profile, not by a long shot. I'll just put the song back up there and use a different band name this time.

I'm kinda' leaning toward Def Leppard.

This is my new favorite commercial.

In my opinion, this guy had no intention of breaking into this lady's home. It seems to me that he was just walking past the house minding his own damn business when she took his picture, and he just really doesn't like getting his picture taken. Notice how he was just standing to the left of the window, disappeared, and then returned from the right side. He was only over there getting something to break her window with, because getting his photograph taken really pisses him off, and he just needed to let off some steam. Then, when the alarm went off, he made a rapid departure because he has sensitive ears. Besides all of that, it's a really crappy shot, just look at it.

Not only is it ludicrously out of focus, but the kids are supposed to be the subject of the picture, and they're in the bottom left corner. This poor woman doesn't even know digital photography 101. I wonder if she ended up putting this in her family photo album, or maybe even hanging a framed 8 by 10 of it on her living room wall.

The guy kinda looks like Howard Stern.