At this point, no news is good news.

Today was a very sad day in my life. It has come to my attention that my favorite news publication of all time, Weekly World News, will stop the presses for good as of their August 27th issue.

I've spent the better part of my life reading this paper on a regular basis, and I'll miss it like crazy. It seems to have fallen to the wayside at the supermarket checkout lane among all of those glossy magazines featuring the chronicles of the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan drifting in and out of rehab and such.

I really don't understand why.

I mean, what would you rather read about: Paris Hilton sitting in jail, or this?

Or even this, for that matter?

Needless to say, I'm not very happy about the situation. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm going to have to find an alternate method of keeping up with current events. I suppose that I'll have to start reading Time or Newsweek or some such crap, but neither one of those rags seem to be privy to the truly important current events, such as week to week updates of Satan's dramatic escape from Hell, or advisory statements pertaining to which presidential candidates are recommended by aliens.

This truly is the end of an era.

What a pisser.