Sorry, but pissing into a trough while some eccentric dude watches me is just NOT how I roll.

A couple of nights ago, I met up with a few friends at a bar on High Street called The Library. Somehow or another, Matt Carter struck up a conversation with this dude who had thinning reddish hair and a really cool moustache. He looked to be about, oh, forty, forty five. At any rate, they were just bullshitting about music and such, when all of a sudden, we were all informed that the fellow (Let's just call him "Red") was in the attendance of a huge rock and roll show that took place in the late seventies at which he witnessed performances by the likes of ELO, Journey, and Foreigner. Needless to say, we were all very impressed.

A bit later in the night, my head started feeling a bit stuffy, and I felt the need to blow my nose. Napkins were being made available at the bar, but I felt as though I would be best off finding the restroom and hooking myself up with some toilet paper. I had never been to this place before and didn't know where the restrooms were, so I took a couple of steps over to the jukebox, where Carter was picking out a few songs to listen to. I asked him where I could find the mens' room, and he gave me directions as he pointed to its location, in the back left corner of the other room, past the pool tables.

It seemed as though "Red" was over there shooting some pool and had noticed that I was looking for the restroom. He beckoned for me to follow him so that he could show me, and I proceeded to do so, because I really needed to blow my nose. I just expected him to show me to the door, but instead, he walked inside in front of me and made his way into the one and only toilet stall inside, and kinda looked out of it as he was getting ready to urinate as though he were waiting for me to pee into the trough that was right outside of the stall.

I just grabbed a couple of paper towels and said, "Thanks, my nose is runnin' like a fuckin' sieve", and stepped out.

I didn't use those paper towels, because they would have been even more abrasive than the napkins on the bar. So I walked right over to that bar and picked up a few of those napkins. I then proceeded to blow my nose like there was no tomorrow, thanking my lucky stars the entire time that I didn't have to take a piss.