Operation: Brokeback Mountain Calendar, Part II: The Search For Spock

Yesterday, I decided to go calendar shopping at the "other" mall. As I was making my way through the parking lot, Josh Fecher gave me a call on the telephone, reminding me that our good pal Chris McCoy was having his birthday, and that there was gonna be a party. When I expressed to Josh how excited I was that all of the calendars were going to be on sale, he asked me to keep an eye out for Justin Timberlake or Carrie Underwood. I told him that I would be more than happy to oblige.

I love this time of year, because all calendars are 75% off, which means they're about 3 bucks each. And the kiosk at this mall even had the Brokeback Mountain calendar that I missed out on at the other mall! I was so happy. I picked one up for myself, and one as a birthday gift for Chris, because I know that he loves that movie almost as much as I do.

When calendars become a dime a dozen, as they are right now, I tend to buy a bunch of them and put them up all over the place. So I picked out a few, featuring the likes of Kelly Clarkson, the cast of The OC, Josh's beloved Carrie Underwood, and not just one, but TWO copies of the Brokeback Mountain calendar.

As I was browsing at the kiosk, I saw the guy working there and overheard a conversation he was having with a friend of his. He seemed like the kind of guy who would go to a Creed concert and try to start a mosh pit, just so he would have a reason to beat people up. I was slightly intimidated, so as I walked to the register, I put the Snakes On A Plane calendar on top of the stack, because it was the only one I was buying that didn't make me look like a total gayfer.

But I was lucky. The guy didn't even look at the calendars, he just turned the stack over, spread them out like a hand of cards, and used his scanner gun to hit the barcodes that were located on the bottom right corner on the back of each one. So he totally didn't pick up on the fact that I was buying the lamest assortment of calendars ever assembled, but he did give me the impression that he wanted to kick my ass, regardless. Fortunately, I emerged from the situation unscathed.

McCoy's birthday party was a triumph. He was so excited about his Brokeback Mountain calendar that he punched a hole in the ceiling of his living room.

That was awesome.