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Three Link Circus
 David Lee Roth & Van Halen ReunitingSources tell Billboard.com a contract could be signed as soon as today for a 40-date amphitheatre tour by Van Halen this summer, with original frontman David Lee Roth back in the fold for the first time in more than 20 years. Hahahahahahaha... I guess this settles our little message board poll once and for all! Actually the strangest part of this announcment isn't even the fact that Diamond Dave is back in the mix. It's the fact that Eddie Van Halen's 15-year-old son Wolfgang has stepped in for original bassist Michael Anthony. It reminds me of that old saying. How does it go again? Um... old enough to drive ( almost), old enough to play live (with Van Halen). Or something like that. 'Hobbit' human 'is a new species'The tiny skeletal remains of human "Hobbits" found on an Indonesian island belong to a completely new branch of our family tree, a study has found. And in the distance I could have sworn I heard Shane Sweeney shouting: "I hate my human life! I wish I had furry feet and could just run around The Shire with a bottle of whiskey!" PC World says farewell to floppyThe time has come to bid farewell to one of the PC's more stalwart friends - the floppy disk. Does this mean Craighead has to retire his "boot disk" jokes, too!?
RJD2 Across America
 Heralded producer, composer and musician RJD2 is breaking new ground. His newest release "The Third Hand" finds this beat-maker creating and singing beautiful melodies reminiscent of Steely Dan, Zombies and King Crimson (without leaving his knack for production behind). This brave new avenue of music making has catapulted RJ into new realms and onto a new label (XL - home to Thom Yorke, Devendra Banhart, Tapes 'N Tapes...). The past year also kept him busy producing records for Aceyalone and Soul Position, remixing for artists such as Astrud Gilberto, and writing scores for video games and DVDs. On tour, RJ will be performing for the first time with a 4-piece band and also as a DJ, both songs old and new. I know local music hero Sam Brown (Gaunt, New Bomb Turks, The Sun, You're So Bossy) will be playing drums in the touring band, but I'm not sure who else is involved. Regardless, it should definitely be worth checking out. Here are the tour dates:3.09.07 Wexner Center - Columbus OH 3.10.07 The Dame - Lexington KY 3.11.07 Exit In - Nashville TN 3.12.07 Revolution Music Room - Little Rock AR 3.13.07 Bricktown Ballroom - Oklahoma City, OK 3.14.07 Haileys - Denton TX 3.16.07 Emo's - Austin, TX 3.17.07 Warehouse Live - Houston TX 3.19.07 House of Blues - New Orleans LA 3.20.07 Variety Playhouse - Atlanta GA 3.21.07 Cats Cradle - Carrboro NC 3.22.07 Satellite Ballroom - Charlottesville VA 3.23.07 9:30 Club - Washington DC 3.24.07 Sonar - Baltimore MD 4.11.07 Starlight Ballroom - Philadelphia PA 4.12.07 The Crazy Donkey - Farmingdale NY 4.13.07 Webster Hall - New York NY 4.14.07 Middle East Downstairs - Cambridge MA 4.15.07 Pearl Street Nightclub - Northampton MA 4.16.07 La TuLipe - Montreal QC 4.17.07 Phoenix Concert Theatre - Toronto ON 4.18.07 Magic Stick - Detroit MI 4.19.07 Grog Shop - Cleveland Heights OH 4.20.07 Metro - Chicago IL 4.21.07 First Avenue - Minneapolis MN 4.22.07 The Picador (formerly Gabes Oasis) - Iowa City IA 4.23.07 Birdys - Indianapolis IN 5.10.07 Bluebird Theatre - Denver, CO 5.11.07 Abbey Theatre, Durango, CO 5.12.07 The Clubhouse - Tempe, AZ 5.13.07 Belly Up Tavern - Solana Beach, CA 5.14.07 Henry Fonda Theatre - Los Angeles, CA 5.15.07 Mezannine - San Francisco, CA 5.17.07 Wonder Ballroom - Portland, OR 5.18.07 Neumos - Seattle, WA 5.19.07 The Nightlight Lounge - Bellingham, WA
This Week in Rock & Roll TV: January 29 - February 4, 2007
 Here's the line-up:
MON 29: Peter Bjorn and John on Conan TUE 30: Paolo Nutini on Conan WED 31: Paul Weller on Conan WED 31: RZA on Craig Ferguson THU 1: *Iconoclasts- Quentin Tarantino & Fiona Apple [SUND] THU 1: Christina Aguilera on Leno THU 1: Jet on Craig Ferguson FRI 2: Stars of Track and Field on Conan FRI 2: The Format on Carson Daly SAT 3: *Wilco & Bright Eyes on Austin City Limits [PBS] SAT 3: Drew Barrymore & Lily Allen on SNL SUN 4: Prince on Super Bowl XLI Halftime Show * = Episode previously aired Check local listings for show times and channels in your
area.
Book of the Week 4/52
 You Suck: A Love Storyby Christopher Moore( William Morrow, 2007) From Publishers WeeklyMoore's latest (after 2006's A Dirty Job) is a cheerfully perverse, gut-busting tale of young vampires in love. Nineteen-year-old Tommy is a bewildered hipster recently relocated to San Francisco from Incontinence, Ind. His sarcastic redhead (and bloodsucking) girlfriend, Jody, brings him into the fold of the undead ("I wanted us to be together," she says). Tommy, understandably, has mixed feelings; vampirism has its perks (you can turn to mist, live forever and the sex is awesome), but sunlight is death and blood hunger makes you do some pretty foul things. Also, the duo is hunted by Elijah, the ancient vampire who "turned" Jody and wants her back, and a band of Safeway stock boys/amateur vampire hunters known as the Animals (with whom pre–dark side Tommy once rolled). With the assistance of their devoted minion, goth girl Abby Normal, whose hilarious diary entries form part of the narrative, Tommy and Jody evade their pursuers, feeding at night and conking out at dawn, all the while learning how vampirism complicates love. Moore writes with the jittery energy of a brilliant, charming class clown, mixing sex and gore and a potty mouth with a goofy-sweet sensibility to deliver laughs on nearly every page. BUY >>>
You'reWelcomeTV
Just a little something to warm the cockles on this chilly January afternoon.
It's A Wyld, Wyld, Wyld, Wyld World
 Diver escapes from shark's jaws An Australian diver has escaped from the jaws of a Great White shark which had grabbed him by the head. He describes the ordeal in greater detail here. 'Wild Cambodia jungle-girl' found A Cambodian girl who disappeared aged eight has been found after living wild in the jungle for 19 years, police say. Zoo celebrates virgin birth of Komodo dragonsA British zoo announced Wednesday the virgin birth of five Komodo dragons, giving scientists new hope for the captive breeding of the endangered species. Bestiality doc premieres at Sundance"Zoo" is a documentary about what director Robinson Devor accurately characterizes as "the last taboo, on the boundary of something comprehensible." But remarkably, an elegant, eerily lyrical film has resulted.
This Week in Rock & Roll TV: January 22 - 28, 2007
 Here's the line-up: MON 22: Roc Doc - New York Doll [SUND] TUE 23: The Shins & Viva Voce on Letterman WED 24: Biography - ABBA [BIO] THU 25: The Bird and the Bee on Leno FRI 26: Rodrigo y Gabriela on Leno SAT 27: *Rilo Kiley on Austin City Limits [PBS] SUN 28: The Shins on Subterranean [MTV2] * = Episode previously aired Check local listings for show times and channels in your
area.
Running The Ball Is Like Making Romance
Well, it’s official. The Chicago Bears will face the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLI on February 4th in Miami, Florida. The match-up will see the high-powered offense of Tony Dungy’s Colts face the defensively stout Bears led by Lovie Smith -- together they are the first black coaches to make the Super Bowl in its 41 year history. Also, after nine years in the league arguably the most prolific quarterback in football, Peyton Manning, will play in his first ever Super Bowl (and the first Super Bowl for the city of Indianapolis since owner Bob Irsay's midnight move there from Baltimore back in 1984). In turn, the Bears go back to the NFL’s biggest game for the first time in 21 years. When last we saw them in this kind of spotlight it was Mike Ditka, Jim McMahon, Walter Payton, William “The Refrigerator” Perry and Mike Singletary leading “Da Bears” to one of the most lopsided contests in Super Bowl history – a 46-10 thrashing of the New England Patriots. To help celebrate the Bears return to glory, we’ll revisit 1985 for this classic clip... yes, the legendary Super Bowl Shuffle. True story: Fern knows all the words! BTW, any early predictions?
Book of the Week 3/52
 Voices From The Streetby Philip K. Dick( Tor Books, 2007) From BooklistAlmost 25 years after his death, Dick is enjoying a revival of interest in his work that most of his surviving peers in sf might envy. His stories have been the bases for six Hollywood movies--most recently, Minority Report and A Scanner Darkly--and almost every scrap of his writing has been spirited back into print. While this heretofore unpublished novel from Dick's early years is strictly mainstream fare, it foreshadows themes that appear later in his speculative fiction, particularly those concerning madness and alienation. In many ways, the central figure here, Stuart Hadley, lives the ideal American dream, working as an electronics salesman and married to a beautiful woman in a tony district of 1950s Oakland, California. Like many of Dick's iconoclastic protagonists, however, he is also a dreamer, an idealistic artist, and ultimately a dropout from lockstep social conformism. The novel follows Hadley's descent into depression, madness, and eventual return to sanity. Surprisingly well written for a formative effort, it is a welcome addition to its author's large and brilliant canon. - Carl HaysBUY >>>
Friends In Low Places
 In case you didn’t hear about it, there was something posted on YouTube involving Britney Spears this past week and it didn’t contain any crotch shots. In fact, it was a song! Since "Fed-Up" was posted on You Tube Wednesday, the clip had received more than half a million hits. By Thursday, the song was getting radio play and ring tones were available for download. There was only one slight hitch in all the YouTube, K-Fed, Britney, download madness. The song wasn’t her. It wasn’t written by her. It wasn’t sung by her. And now that the alleged Britney Spears song has turned out to be a phony, YouTube has yanked it from their site. Here’s the twist! It turns out the song was in fact penned by NYC-based songwriter/musicians Adam and Jesse Blockton and sung by Amy Miles. Yes, that Amy Miles! Sister of A.D. Miles (Wet Hot American Summer, Dog Bites Man). And yes, that Jesse Blockton! Lead singer/guitarist for The Vitamen. Amy is a musician whose music many of us associated with the NDA have raved about and followed for several years now. And The Vitamen (who were an amazing band that broke-up last year) played Slum-B-Q 2 and slept on my couch. Crazy, huh!? Apparently they recorded this song as a demo in order to try to sell it to Jive Records for Britney to actually sing on her next record. They claim that they are not sure how it leaked to the internet as there were only a few copies handed out to select friends. "The fans like it," Blockton said. "We wanted to get it to her. But not like this." So, it wasn’t a joke and I guess it wasn’t a scam. I still haven’t decided if I want to laugh or cringe (OK, I'm laughing). Regardless, I hope that Jesse and Amy find success through their own music and aren’t negatively linked to this somewhat embarrassing incident forever, because they both actually rock. The news reports (thus their names) are everywhere: -- Bogus Britney-- Britney Spears Not Actually Fed OR Knocked Up-- Britney's new single not hers-- Britney Spears 'Fed-Up' with K-Fed. Or NotMaybe they can use this to their advantage??
Richard Buckner To Tour With Six Parts Seven
 I thought this bit of news that came across my desk yesterday might interest some of you (especially our Ohio readers and Chris, Jess, Matt, verticalPhil, etc.): Richard Buckner has announced dates for a major US tour with Kent, OH's Six Parts Seven. Buckner will be supporting his latest release, Meadow, out now on Merge Records; while the 6P7 is gearing up for the imminent "dropping" of their next album, Casually Smashed To Pieces, out January 23rd on Suicide Squeeze Records. Word has it that the 6P7 will be opening each of the shows and then serving double-duty as Buckner’s backing band. Given each of their acts respective history of dynamic live performances, the union should make for a truly jaw-dropping experience. The tour kicks off February 17th with a two night stand at the Union Hall in Brooklyn, NY and wraps up April 13th at Larimer Lounge in Denver. Here are all the tour dates:2/17/07 Brooklyn, NY Union Hall 2/18/07 Brooklyn, NY Union Hall 2/19/07 Arlington, VA Iota Club and Cafe 2/20/07 Philadelphia, PA North Star 2/21/07 State College, PA Roustabout 2/22/07 Newport, KY Southgate House 2/23/07 Chicago, IL Schuba's 2/24/07 TBA 2/26/07 Iowa City, IA Picador 2/27/07 Madison, WI High Noon Saloon 2/28/07 St. Paul, MN Turf Club 3/1/07 Des Moines, IA Vaudeville Mews 3/2/07 Lawrence, KS Jackpot 3/3/07 TBA 3/27/07 Chattanooga, TN Lamars 3/28/07 Memphis, TN Hitone 3/29/07 Denton, TX Dan's Silverleaf 3/30/07 Austin, TX Emo's 3/31/07 TBA 4/1/07 Marfa, TX BALLROOM Marfa 4/2/07 Tucson, AZ Club Congress 4/3/07 Phoenix, AZ Rhythm Room 4/4/07 Los Angeles, CA TBA 4/5/07 San Francisco, CA Café Du Nord 4/6/07 TBA 4/7/07 Portland, OR TBA 4/9/07 Bellingham, WA Nightlight Lounge 4/10/07 Seattle, WA Crocodile 4/11/07 Boise, ID Neurolux 4/13/07 Denver, CO Larimer Lounge 6P7 SOLO DATES 1/26 Morgantown, WV - 123 Pleasant St. 3/9 Cleveland, OH - Beachland Ballroom 3/10 Louisville, KY - Pour House 3/11 Oklahoma City, OK - The Conservatory 3/12 Dallas, TX - Ellum Festival 3/20 Baton Rouge, LA - Spanish Moon 3/22 Orlando, FL - Backbooth 3/24 Tampa, FL - Cuban Club And a little bonus video of Buckner playing some San Francisco public access show or something like fifteen years ago -- it’s pretty funny how young he looks, but even more remarkable is how much his voice and aesthetic has remained consistently “him” all these years.
Ghetto Revival
So I'm a sucker for basic cable reality shows (hell, I even cry during American Idol), Flavor of Love, Little People Big World, The Dog Whisperer, even Dog the Bounty Hunter. But Ego Trip's White Rapper Show really takes the cake. As a suburban Caucasian raised on hip-hop and obsessed with black culture at a young age, Ego Trip's infusion of race relations, comedy, and old-school adoration/aesthetics, strikes a chord with me. For a primer check out the their two essential books, Big Book of Racism and Big Book of Rap Lists, though their present creation is just as satisfying. This show has everything. I'm going to go out on a limb and predict the winner. Though it's apparent they picked some cliched "white rapper" types that will fall in the coming weeks (G-Child, 100 Proof, the awful British chick), they picked John Brown. The self-proclaimed "King of the Burbs" is leaps and bounds better than his peers. He just has that surreal quality that a guy like Prince Paul is probably itching to work with, once the "Ghetto Revival" takes the prize. Though you can check out all the competitor's horrendous MySpace pages through the first link, I thought I'd get you started.  The only other "white guy" with any reasonably creative skills, is Sullee. Who won't let you download any of his songs. Punk. Of course Jon Boy and Shamrock could be a wrench in the real battle, due to their similar "dirty south" stammers. But I'm really anticipating the finals between my two favorites. As long as Persia doesn't pluck the heartstrings for ratings, I'm damn near sure of this. Then again, one of my heroes, MC Search, is the host. And none of them can touch this.
We Hate Mixtapes #2
 This is the second submission in the new We Hate Mixtapes digital mixtape series headed by Mr. Justin Riley. If you want to get in on the action email him (20hz20khz [at] gmail.com) and he’ll get you lined-up for a date with destiny. This particular muddle-up was thrown together by yours truly. The combination of songs were drawn from many new and old favorites. It ranges from oddly affected voices and minimal arrangements to fancily-produced Satanic hoe-downs. There are some soft rock, some old country and some choice 70’s semi-rarities included. One thing is for sure, it’s fairly quiet and it should be good for playing softly in the background while still being able to think. It's the Yawning of the Age of Aquariums: 13 Songs, 40 Minutes, 50.4MB Here's the tracklist:01 Little Boxes - Melvina Reynolds 02 Willpower - Paul Burch 03 Walking The Cow - Daniel Johnston 04 Heart Like A Wheel - Kate & Anna McGarrigle 05 Be Not So Fearful - Bill Fay 06 Somebody Made For Me - Emitt Rhodes 07 Tonight - The Move 08 Right Down The Line - eric Metronome 09 Tiny Echoes - Lylas 10 Friday Night Fever - Silver Jews 11 Six Sixty-Six - Frank Black & the Catholics 12 Fist City - Loretta Lynn 13 I Love You - Climax Blues Band You can download it by clicking here. I hope you all like it.
Three Link Circus
 Simon Cowell vs. Bob DylanSimon Cowell finds Bob Dylan "boring" and prefers to listen to Kelly Clarkson, he has revealed. "If I had 10 Dylans in the final of American Idol, we would not get 30 million viewers." It begs the question: how many millions of viewers would he get if he had 10 Clarksons? Or what about 10 Morrisettes? The answer? Right after this commercial break!!So, You Always Wanted To Write A NovellaContinuum is now accepting proposals for future books in their outstanding 33 1/3 series, to be published in 2008 and 2009. Also, they just announced that the film rights for John Niven's Music From Big Pink novella have been optioned by producer/writer/director team Stephen and Jez Butterworth. Jez recently completed the screenplay for Paramount Pictures forthcoming James Brown biopic, to be directed by Spike Lee later this year. How To Download Videos from Websites Like Google Video, YouTube, MySpace, etc.Gil’s Method offers up this simple tutorial showing you how to download videos from the internet using Firefox and a couple tricks and trinkets and what-not, so that you can save them to your computer for your eternal viewing pleasure. Once you get it all figured out you’ll probably want to start with this video.
The Michael Showalter Showalter
This is the premiere of Michael Showalter's ( STELLA) new "webshow" on CollegeHumor.com. If you're having probs with the video, click here.
This Week in Rock & Roll TV: January 15 - 21, 2007
 Here's the line-up: MON 15: 64th Annual Golden Globe Awards [NBC] MON 15: America with Ryan Adams & Ben Kweller on Letterman TUE 16: Sparta on Conan THU 18: Totally Awesome Concert - Rick Springfield [VH1C] THU 18: The Final 24 - Sid Vicious [BIO] THU 18: Annuals on Conan FRI 19: Slayer on Kimmel SAT 20: Dixie Chicks on Austin City Limits [PBS] SAT 20: AFI & Jeremy Piven on SNL * = Episode previously aired Check local listings for show times and channels in your
area.
Book of the Week 2/52
 Prime Green: Remembering The Sixtiesby Robert Stone( Ecco, 2007) From BooklistThe 1960s have been rehashed so often that it's hard for those who missed them to imagine the sense of change and possibility that so many felt. In this memoir, Stone manages to make those feelings palpable. He starts with a 1958 visit to South Africa as a navy journalist and ends with a 1971 trip to Vietnam, a civilian writer this time. In between, he ponders his fate, does hackwork, starts a family, takes drugs, writes some, travels, befriends Ken Kesey, and witnesses the beginning of what we now call the culture wars. As he revisits scenes from his own life, he extrapolates insight about the times and about himself and his artistic growth. His crystalline prose makes the project seem simple, but, of course, it's not; achingly honest and unself-serving, Stone fixes on different details and observes them differently. And whether readers have forgotten or never believed it, they'll finish the book thinking that things were really different then--without being forced to acknowledge that things were better then, too. - Keir GraffBUY >>>
New Dark Ages Meets Olde Dark Ages UPDATED W/NEW PHOTO 01/14
 This nerd wants to use this as his senior picture, but his LAME principal won't allow it. The ACLU has been called in to save the day. Full story here. The (f)Art movement has already got dibs on this picture, so don't even think about it. Here he is seen "just chilling" at home:  And here's a link to his myspace friendster page. I cannot verify it's authenticity, but the picture is still totally glorious and that's good enough for me.
Why We Live Here Instead of There
Tonight's line-up at Bourbon St. is easily 2007's first worthwhile show, attendancer required. Green Bay's Pink Reason is venturing in to town with a little help from his trash-pop friends Times New Viking and Psychedelic Horseshit. In yesterday's Dispatch I had the pleasure to describe his music as a "loner vibe emanating from the darkest corners of the new weird American underground." Splice that with some Skip Spence psychosis and a gravitation towards electronic fissures, and you have this. What I'm most excited about is the first showing in the New Year from Psychedelic Horseshit. The grizzled frontman now lives in a tent in my brother's kitchen, so here's hoping those conditions have inspired late-night moments of fractured brilliance. Of course I'm required by law to shout the praises of Times New Viking (they will not disappoint), but it's the element of surprise that has me pining for the 'Shit. My other brother lays out the details here on his new blog, but he has yet to link to my own award-winning crevice of the internet, so additional advertising is on hold.
OBVIOUSLY.
It's been a stressful week on our message board. I think I'll take this chance to lighten the mood a little bit. Kind of appropriate that the funniest SNL sketch in a gazzillion years didn't even air.
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1 Comments:
i have a really cool boot disk for sim city and i have codes for ultimate cities. call me.
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