In Theatres This Weekend... National Lampoon’s Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj

Remember when National Lampoon's meant you were in store for a really great, LOL Chevy Chase flick? Now National Lampoon’s means you’re in store for an unwatchable lame-omedy about some drunk college kids either A.) On a misguided road trip or B.) In another country where girls never wear bras. In either case, hilarity almost never ensues. Then of course you have scenario C.) National Lampoon’s Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, where you’re in store for a really bad movie about some drunk college kids on a misguided road trip in another country where girls never wear bras and Kumar never finds White Castle. And guess what? This Van Wilder character isn’t even in the movie. It’s like that time I rented Jeopardy for Sega Genesis. Alex Trabeck was on the cover, but he wasn’t in the fucking game.

Anyway, if you like spending money on crap film like this, please come give the money to me and I’ll punch you squarely in the nuts and/or berries. It’ll be funnier.

Why didn’t they just make Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle 2: The Worst Farts Ever?

National Lampoon’s Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj was directed by Mort Nathan (Boat Trip) and stars Kal Penn, Lauren Cohan, Daniel Percival, Glen Barry and Anthony Cozens.

Other stuff opening on Friday: Turistas, Christmas at Maxwell’s and The Nativity Story.