David Blaine: Eternally Yours!

OK folks, we have something absolutely spectacular to announce on this cold and dreary Monday morning. After several months of grueling negotiations between the New Dark Lawyers and the seedy dudes who represent famed magician/illusionist David Blaine we have worked out an exclusive agreement for Mr. Blaine to perform one of his world famous magic tricks/stunts/illusions right here on this very page. This has probably never been done before, but David Blaine will both mystify and amaze you with this one. Incredible folks!

David Blaine will attempt to remain on this website, this blog, The New Dark Ages (in the form of the picture above) for ALL OF ETERNITY!

I know what you’re thinking: It can’t be safe! It can’t be done! Somebody kill him! But, I assure you, it most certainly can and will be done. If you don’t believe me, I dare you to check back on this post -- days, months, even years from now -- and there he will be. David Blaine hovering luminously, encased in a glass sphere of crystal clear dolphin urine. For ALL OF ETERNITY!

Godspeed, David. Godspeed.